In it, we talk about communication and goals. The lovely thing about it is that we actually learn it in a way that we can apply it to our personal lives as well as to our guests that we encounter at least 15 hours per week. After listening to one of the recordings, I say, "I love this company." I honestly wanted to hold back, and keep the glee to myself, but I just couldn't help it! This was on Thursday.
Just a few days before that day, my company sent me to Landmark Forum where I, with at least one other person (of 145), had the opportunity to SHIFT my perspective and transform my 'self', as I know me, into this NEW person. THAT was a great experience. I can explain the encounter, but won't ever have words for the feelings that I have since that weekend. So appreciative of that moment.
So now it's almost two weeks later and life has settled in again. The new way of thinking is still there, but doubt and fear are trying to creep their way back in to my thoughts and behavior. Gratefully, I am able to now capture them and examine them. Sometimes they get past, but most of the time I send them back to where they came from (the pits of hell? the North Pole? Detroit? lines at the Department of Motor Vehicles?) and I'm happy that I can really do that these days.
What I've learned to do is separate my story from the truth of what's happening. To not let one bad encounter spiral into the backdrop of my entire day, life, or perspective. (It's deep, y'all.) It's freed up a lot of time and energy because I am able to focus on the moments that I'm in as they come to me.
I have to admit, there has been a convo in my head about: WHAT IF I THINK A NEGATIVE THOUGHT? What if I forget the strategy? This could happen, right? Moments where we awaken to a bright day and every now and then when a bad mood strikes that day or week, we get the chance to compare the two paradigms and see that we lost a little control there or here in this present moment because of X, Y, or Z?
But isn't that what happiness and anger are? Losing control? Super happy experiences usually happen because something happened to you. You can't create those mornings where you imagine that you're Cinderella and all the doe are prance around while blue birds tie your hair into the most PERFECT messy bun. Those mornings usually just happen and you always seize the opportunity to just bask in it, don't you? You do the same thing when you're angry, too. You're living your life and suddenly something happens and your mood just sets. you. off.! You feel attacked and defensive, suddenly you want to just FIGHT or FLEE! Or YOU CAN'T DECIDE WHICH TO DO..so you shut-down altogether. Sometimes this is on the same day, or maybe a few months later.
Do you see how thin the line that I'm drawing it? Sure you can create happy and sad through action and thought, but never the experience because the feeling happens as a result of what you THINK might make you happy or sad. You usually find yourself waiting around for those results! (HOLY doctor's clinic waiting room! Right? haha)
And that's where at least one point of this post is about to be presented...
BUT THEN THERE'S GRACE.
In the Christian belief, 'grace' is: "the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings." (According to my MacBook.) I also think that it's safe to say in the non-Christian belief, people understand one of the definitions of 'grace' to be this (+/- God) as well.
So you're in one of these places of happiness and anger. Or forgiveness, bitterness, courage, or fear, right? You might feel like you should be more consistently peaceful and if you DO get any bad vibe, you should handle it a certain way as your new and glad self should not be phased by others or external influences. And a brand new struggle abounds within your psyche between gladness or irritability. Never you fear dear reader--dear friend-- now you have a new standard that frees you from this vicious cycle of 'would haves' and 'should haves'. YOU have the ability to remind yourself of 'grace'. Undeserving, unwarranted, favor for your life. No matter what you do. What you say. Where you are.. the good things that are coming to you in your life are going to come despite any slip that you take into a positive or negative mindset in your moment! You can't do a thing to stop God's plan from succeeding, my love. It's going to go down whether you like it or not. So why even begin the self-abuse again?
Perfection is boring, truly impossible to reach, and relative anyway. Have you ever been a guest at an event that went off without a hitch? You loved the music, ambiance, food, and crowd? THAT'S because the event planner dealt with rip-offs, no-shows, spoiled food, and party-crashers BEHIND the scenes for at least a month and even on the night you are there hobnobbing with your peers and loved ones! Thankfully, someone in our lives is in a control like this even beyond our experience. Someone who has set it in place that you will have a good time in this life (and in my Christian case.. another that's coming after this) as long as we just promise to show up every day and experience it with that guarantee in mind.
This morning, when I started to get a little upset w/ myself because I hadn't really applied the lingo of Landmark & my development course to my life in a few situations over the weekend, I simply remembered a mantra created by this cool chick named Emily Ley that says: I hold myself to a standard of GRACE not perfection.
OF COURSE I want a great life. I want peace. I want to manage. I want to smile. I want power. I want to lead. But, if I get hung up on doing those things perfectly, I won't get there. YES.. I might 'get there', but it will take a lot for me to hold to strings that tie it all together. If I simply apply great truth to my life, go out and live it, let go, and .. LET GOD. THEN I will truly have those chances (plus more) in my great life where I do great things, hang with great people and feel great hope and wonder every day. WHEW! WHAT. A. RELIEF!!
So I invite you to hold yourself to a standard today. A standard where you allow yourself some wiggle room to be authentic. Experiencing real life. Loving moments that are really happening to you. All this because you work at it. Not to do all of these things perfectly, but to do all these things knowing that your efforts will pay off, and when you forget to apply them, it doesn't matter because you're still in good standing with the most high--and that's all that matters.
I hope you're encouraged to be yourself today. I hope that this post brought you overwhelming peace.
God bless.. here are some pictures of me living my life imperfectly..
LOVE YOU GUYS! Have fun taking it easy on yourselves! : )
xoxo
Melissa
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| at the Moet Rose Lounge w/ great peeps! |
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| driving range :) |
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| Black Girls Run! meet-up pre 5k race! |
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